Victoria Mary Clarke

Articles/Dave Burnett

Dave Burnett Interview.

Dave Burnett, at the age of forty, has experienced more tragedy than many would expect to in a lifetime. I was, I confess, nervous about meeting him. Sometimes I am afraid that I will not be able to cope with the magnitude of people's problems, even if they themselves seem to be managing. Dave rises gracefully from the sofa in the hotel where we have arranged to meet. He leans on a crutch, to shake my hand and smiles, his hair has been shaved off, he has no eyebrows. But he glows with an inner fortitude, a joie de vivre which startles me. This is a man who lost his wife when he was twenty three and was left to raise their twin boys alone. Helen Burnett was run over one night by a drunken driver and left to die. As Dave was adjusting to life without her, David, -one of the twins- came home one day vomiting and complaining of pains in his stomach. Cancer was diagnosed, David's stomach was removed and he was dead within ten hours of the operation. On Dave went, alone with his remaining child.

"That was very hard for me, bringing up two children, aged twenty three," Dave says, trembling a little. "I fell into myself and ignored a lot of the help that was being offered. One thing I learned from cancer is something that I never knew before, which is how to ask for help. To ask for help is one of the hardest things, it doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman. People think of it as showing weakness, but in reality it's not, it's actually showing strength. I try to encourage other people not to be afraid to ask for help."

So how did he deal with what had happened?

"I still haven't dealt with it. I was very angry at a lot of people and angry with myself. People would notice that I had a chip on my shoulder."

And then he, himself was diagnosed with cancer of the same extremely rare type as his son had died of. He is expected to die soon and has been hanging on, not knowing when the cancer will claim him, too. It is becoming more difficult to get around, he has lost the power in one arm and in the opposite leg, as well as most of the sight in one eye. But Dave isn't about to let that stop him. Ever since he accepted that he is definitely going to die, of the cancer he has dedicated the remainder of his life to helping other people with cancer to live. To this end he has started a charity called 'Living With Cancer", which aims to provide an information centre for people who are living with cancer themselves, or caring for someone else who is. Dave's lucky, he says.

"I have a very unusual cancer, gastric lymphoma. I'm only the hundred and fifty ninth person on record with it, in the whole world. So that has generated a lot of interest among the medical profession. I'm probably lucky, in that I get extra attention, whereas if it was a more standard form of cancer, there would be more of a routine to the treatment. When I accepted it, I learned one thing which is if I can help somebody else, that's the most valuable contribution I can make."
Dave is convinced that many of the people who are diagnosed with cancer could recover if they were diagnosed early enough. But like him, many of us would rather not know, until it's too late. He himself suspected what was wrong with him, but rather than see the doctor, kept taking aspirin, to kill the pain.

Because his son had died after surgery, Dave knew he didn't intend to have his stomach removed. Instead, he chose to have chemotherapy. But there are five tumours now. How long does he have left?

"I live from day to day. I get a lot of strength from the encouragement of other people. I'm not in a wheelchair yet. But I will go blind, as part of the sickness. It will be a painful death. I know that from the research I've carried out, but when it happens, it happens."

How will he prepare for it?

"Having a son, it's very difficult. If I didn't have a son, I probably would have taken my life a long time ago. But the nurses and doctors in St Vincents are superb. They encourage you to want to live, no matter what you are going through. They also allow you to hold on to your dignity, which is very important. They teach you how to ask for what you need. And they respect you. There is a reason we are all here, and a reason to survive and I've learned that now. We all like to leave something good behind, when we know we are going to go. And this is what I want to do, with "Living With Cancer" leave something behind that many many people can benefit from."

The charity 'Living With Cancer" will provide a free eight thousand square foot drop-in centre in Dublin's Thomas Street. Eircom have donated computers, and internet access and there will be meeting rooms and a restaurant, so that people can come and research all of the available information on different cancers and treatments. The charity will also provide internet chat-rooms for people all over the world who have cancer or are caring for people who do.

"Poor countries, in particular, could benefit a great deal from what we've learned, without having to spend so much money. And the chat rooms would be very important for people who are sick and lonely, so that there is somebody they can reach out to. When you are diagnosed with cancer, you often don't know who to turn to. Parents, especially. When my son was diagnosed, an emptiness descended on me and I didn't know what to do. We are trying to do it so that it's free for anyone with cancer to use. And for carers. But also for GPs who want to do research because their patients have been diagnosed."

Does Dave have a religious faith?

"I do, yeah. I don't believe in the church, but I do believe in God. Something created us, for a reason. I pray to St Jude for Hopeless Cases! And Padre Pearse."
Padre Pio?

"Yes, but I call him Pearse! I believe that people are Gods, in their own way. We are all creators and if we can share that creation among each other, we can go on to accept and appreciate what we have in a better way. I value everybody, no matter who they are, or what they are, because we have something to learn from them, and they have something to learn from us. I can't help everybody, but with the internet, I can share my experience with a lot of people. And I know that everybody will come together, in this centre and put something into it. And that's why I don't want to die. I had accepted death, but I've changed my mind!"